There’s a point in every traveler’s journey where you realize how far you are from home, and how alone you are in that place and in the world. That moment came to me in the train to Chiang mai.
In our second day in Thailand we where to travel to Chiang mai, we took the night train since it would save us the hotel once getting there and it would be quite an experience, and it was… our train departed at 7:30 we waited till the in a nearby cafe, talking and checking our email’s and Facebook conversations with our families and friends back home. After the time had arrived we boarded our train.
We met some backpackers and talked about all the places they have been, our bunk neighbor was called David and he was reaching the last 3 weeks of his 6 month backpacking experience trough asia, he was coming from Indonesia, China and several other places. Untill that moment I never really missed home yet, I’ve been having free wi-fi at the hotel so I was communicating at night with my mom and friends.
Late-night fell and we all went to bed, I got the upper bunk, I was very cold in the train so I had my own extra blanket aside the one that was given there. around the middle of the night I suddenly woke up in fear. Somehow my subconscious had realized, I’m alone, in a foreign country, no possible way of communication with my family and friends during the train ride. If something where to happen no one will know, no one would ever find me…
This is a train ride trough the jungle, there’s small villages and cities in the way to Chiang mai, but lets face it, I don’t even speak the language. Most of them greatfully know english, and my english is pretty good, but, they can easily plot something right in front of me and I would never know…
My mind spinned with all the different possibilities of course, the train being hijacked, the train stuck in the middle of the jungle, being attacked by train pirates, I don’t know It sounds silly now,but at the moment I was terrified. Luckily during this journey I’m not alone, it sounds selfish but I have my husband to take care of me, and I mean take care because he truly does, most of the times I’m a child that needs guidance or protection, no matter how independent I may be.
so I did what every mature adult would have done, I woke him up and slipped into his bunk not being able to sleep, and there he comforted me and held me in his arms un till I fell a sleep.
the very next morning after all the stress my mind when trough, I was never so happy to see sunlight, I am a day person, once I see the sun up all my fears disappear. I went to the bathroom and on my way back I lifted the curtain that covered the window on the hallway. And there I saw it. The reason why I was there, the reason why all the hard work made sence, In that window I saw the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life, I saw life itself.
I saw the train running trough the jungle, thick vines roamed the ground and the trees. There where trees I’ve never seen before nor I’ve ever been able to imagine, mountains in the back dusted by clouds, it was better than any Rambo movie could ever show you, better than any screen saver could ever make you image. I was still, unable to move, I wanted to run and get my camera but then I tought to my self, I wanna keep this moment, for me. So I stood there motionless.
There comes a point in everybody’s life where you want to travel, know the world, see whats out there, few get to do it, I am one of the fortunate, all though I feel my journey is just beginning, I feel that in that journey you get all the answers in life.
And here I am knowing myself for the first time.